A Pawn Christmas Carol

[Sarai]

A Pawn Christmas Carol
written by: Apocolyptic

Act I
Scene I

[ T'was the days before Christmas, was there a merry little city, with good-hearted folks, with good-hearted stocks, and the cozy little houses in rows and rows of holiday delight. In the middle of the merry little city, a dark, grimy building stood. Rarely ornated except for a wooden sign above the door, "Blank&JP Co." in bold, dark letters. Inside the building, was a dying fire in the hearth, with one lone worker furiously writing as the sounds of his quill scratched away. And in front of the working desk, sat a old miser, counting away his profit and earnings of his accumulated wealth. ]

(The miser stands up adruptly.)
Blank: MISTER CHICKLET!
(The lone worker stops writing)
Chickletman: Y-Yes Mr. Blank?
Blank: Why...are you not done your papers, Mister Chicklet?
Chickletman(stammering): I-I'm almost done sir, it's not even the e-end of m-my workshift yet.
Blank: SACRILEGE! (The miser goes around his desk and up to Chickletman)
Blank: I, sir, will NOT stand for this laziness, - (starts smacking Chicklet's face with each word) this incompetence - this blasphemy!
Chickletman: Oh please, Mr. Blank it's almost Christmas da-
Blank: BAH HUMBUG! When I was your age, I never stood by lazing away trying to cheat my master out of his profits! No sir, I did not!!
Chicklet: P-Please Mr. Blank, I-
Blank: You should consider yourself lucky Mister Chicklet! (Starts poking his finger on Chicklet's chest)
Blank: As HALF of Pawn is in poverty and rags, you are kept warm in my office and get ten credits per week! But what thanks do I get? A cheat out of an old man, with nothing left!
(The old miser goes back to his desk)
Blank: Get back to work!
Chicklet: R-right away sir..

[For Few minutes, the scratching of Chicklet's quill filled the silence and the clinkity clink of the coins followed suit, until the door of the shop burst open.]

???: Merry Christmas, Uncle Blank~! Merry Christmas, Chicklet!
Chicklet: (Standing up) Oh Balmung! Merry Chris-
Blank: (With furiosity) BAH HUMBUG, BACK TO YOUR WORK MISTER CHICKLET!
Chickletman: (Sits back down with frightened silence)
Blank: What in bloody mary do you want Balmung?
Balmung: To wish you a merry Christmas, uncle! Why in heaven's name are you working this dreadfully cold day?
Blank: PROFIT! It is always about profit! You never understood that Balmung!
Balmung: Oh shucks, uncle, it's almost Christmas!
Blank: Bah humbug!
Balmung: (Hesitantly) Well uncle, if you feel that way, fine, but I just came here to tell you that you can come by me and my wife's house on Christmas for a little snippet of our dinner.

[Balmung somberly departs for the exit, as his uncle, Blank goes back to counting his money, as Balmung goes by Chickletman he secretly drops some credits onto Chicklet's lap.
Chickletman, mouthing 'thank you' goes back to his work, as Balmung goes out of the door, and then- ]

Balmung: MERRY CHRISTMAS UNCLE!
Blank: BAH HUMBUG!

[Hours and hours later, the streets begin to clear replaced by carolers of every age, with good spirits and bad none. The clock in the shop ticks and ticks as Mister Chicklet anxiously looks at the time repeatedly. And finally..]

Blank: You may go Mister Chicklet.
(Bursting with joy in his steps, Chickletman gets his coat)
Blank: BUT, I have extra work to do for you.
(Chickletman receives a sack full of items)
Chicklet: What..is this Mr. Blank?
Blank: My laundry. You do well to get that laundry back here on Christmas day.
Chicklet: Christmas day! But Mr. Blank, my children, my wife, my-
Blank: FINE! Bloody hell fine! I will give you extra wages of work if you get back here on Christmas day with the laundry and ready to work.

[ Chicklet falls silent and mournfully goes out the door, while the old miser collects his coat and hat, then goes out the door after Chicklet.]

End of Act I
Scene I

[Calisniper13]

Poor chickletman got smacked around :(

[Dpballer]

You must love text typing don't you? Very imaginitive but at the same time so down to earth. Pretty good playwrighting.

[Sarai]

You must love text typing don't you? Very imaginitive but at the same time so down to earth. Pretty good playwrighting.

I didn't write this story, all I did was put in colors.
It only seems to follow the regular A Carol Christmas storyline except with some changes.

[shooter65]

I lol'd. Waiting to read scene 2.

[Sarai]

I lol'd. Waiting to read scene 2.

Act I Scene II will be posted tommorow.
Merry Christmas 8)

[Sarai]

Act I
Scene II

[ Snow covered the cobblestones, warming fires sprang on the sides of the streets, carolers were fah-la-la-laing, and poor families huddled together in their raggedy clothes, as their bodies were cold, but their hearts warm to its fullest. The old miser Blank trudged through the snow, cursing the weather, the babies, the women, the men, the buildings, and the carolers as he went along. ]

Carolers: Deck the halls with boughs of holly
Fah-la-la-la-la, la la la la.
T'is the season to be jolly.
Fah-la-la-la-la, la la la la.
Don we now our *** apparel
Fah-la-la -
Blank: Bah humbug!
[ Said Blank, as he traveled up to a pub in which he had a meeting with two gentlemen. ]
( Noise of clinking glass and hearty laughter erupts as Blank goes into the pub )
Eiliosdraye: Ah! Ebenezer Blank! Over here, sir!
Blank: Alright, lads. What buisness offer do you have for me this fine evening?
Mehello: It's no more a plead than a buisness offer, Mr. Blank.
Eiliosdraye: Indeed! (Takes off his hat and grins) We are here Mr. Blank to ask you for a handsome donation to charity and for the poor living out on the stree-
Blank: INSUFFERABLE! (his shouting draws attention) You ask me, an old man to come here to a dirty, little pub to DONATE to charity? What do you take me for? A fool?
I'd rather BURN my credits rather than give it to those lazy, slobbering pests out there!
Eiliosdraye: Now, BE reasonable Mr. Blank, tis the season of giving is it not?
Blank: Bah humbug! If the poor are not satisfied with their workhouses, soup kitchens, and the poor laws, then LET them freeze to death or just plain die for all I care!
If they would rather die than go to the workhouses or under a damned bridge, they should better do it, for it will decrease the surplus population!
Mehello: (Aghast) Mr. Blank! Surely you don't mean that!
Eiliosdraye: I-Indeed, Mr. Blank, please reconside-
Blank: Bah humbuggles! Since you are buisnessmen I will spare you the humiliating scene of bankruptcy and court trial.
But (waggles his finger at the two) be warned for I will not be so lenient next time!
[ With those last words, Blank grunted and stormed out of the pub with many a eyes staring after him. The two gentlemen's shoulders sagged in defeat as they somberly watched the old miser go. ]
[ Blank traveled up the frozen streets, knocking away dirty, little orphans as they tried to beg some credits from him. He approached the steps of his house at last, after hitting a dozen orphans or so, but as he reached for his keys, a chill in the air emananted. ]
Blank: Blast it, where is that key...Ah there we g- oah!
(His eyes clasped upon the knocker on the door of his house, for it had the shape of a man's face and not a brass lion.)
Blank: What in St. Bacon's name is this...? JP?
[ The miser blinked his eyes, and the knocker was a brass lion again. Hestiantly, Blank touched the knocker, but it was just a cold, cold piece of metal as it always had been. ]
Blank: Bah humbug! (Blank opens the door and steps in)

[ Warming up a week old porridge stew, Blank settled down in his bedroom as he watched the stew boil, the floors moaned and wind rattled against the window, but none of this disturbed Ebenezer Blank, as he took a taste of the porridge stew and in utter disgust, threw it away and regretted that he had fired his maid because his eggs were not scrambled that one morning. ]

[ Blank settled in his large, blue armchair facing the fireplace, then he heard the sounds of a mysterious world. ]
Rattle, rattle, clink, clink, [ The sound of chains sounded from the staircase, right outside of Blank's bedroom door. Moans could be heard audibly ]
Voice: Blaaaaaank, Blaaaaaaank.
Blank: (Pale in the face) Tis not anything but a visitor knocking at my chamber door.
[ The sounds grew nearer with intensified moaning, and at last stopped right outside of Blank's chamber door. ]
Blank: (With a sigh of relief) Just my imagination.

[ THEN, with a ghostly shriek, a pale apparition stormed right through the wall of Blank's bedroom.
Shrieking in fear, Blank grabbed the poker and held it in defense, then realizing that the pale ghost was someone he once knew, he lowered the poker. ]
Blank: (Shaking) JP? JP Marley? Is that you?
JP: Oooooh, it is I, Ebenezer Blank.
Blank: Why JP! What brings you here? Surely you died seven years ago...I paid for your funeral even.
JP: You never paid for my funeral Blank, you only tossed my body into a crudely dug pit, and set a plain old rock over the filled-in hole.
Blank: Well if you say it like that then-
JP: SILENCE! I have not come back from the Netherworld for revenge, Blank. I have come back to warn you that you face a similar fate to mine after Death takes you in his arms.
Blank: What fate?
JP: (Gesturing at the rattling chains around his body and a very bulky chest tied in the chains.) This, is my fate and yours Blank.
The ill-fate of those who show greed and lust for credits and do not help any poor soul or be charitable or the least bit kind. Such extreme fate only await for the likes of you and me.
Blank: (Murmurs)
JP: What was that?
Blank: I said, it's indigestion. That's probably what's making me hallucinate...I'm going off to sleep now, away with you JP.

JP: (Furiously, casting his arms out, the windows rattled, the floors moaned, the walls shrieked, and the bed shook) FOOL, GREEDY FOOL, OLD MISER, DO YOU NOT SEE THESE HEAVY, IRON CHAINS OF HELL? DO YOU NOT SEE THE BURDENS AND GUILTS OF EVERYTHING I HAVE SUFFERED UNTO OTHERS SCREAMING IN THIS BULKY CHEST?! (WAILS) OH THE CRUELTY OF IT ALL, MY SPIRIT IS BOUND TO THE EVER-LASTING SUFFERING OF MANKIND, THE BITTERNESS OF IT ALL, IF ONLY I HAD BEEN A MITE KINDER, PERHAPS I WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN CLAPSED IN THESE PRISON CHAINS!
Blank: B-But, JP, you've always been such a good buisnessman, such good atti-
JP: Ebenezer Blank, I tell you now, that even now you have made your own chains of hell, link by link throughout your miserable life of greed. Even now, I see them bearing down on you with such spiritual weight...
Blank: Oh please JP! Please spare me! Please, tell me..please spare me..
JP: It is not I who will spare you, Ebenezer, but rather yourself with the help of three spirits.
Blank: T-Three spirits?
JP: The first will come when the clock strikes midnight, the second will come when the clock strikes one, and the third will come when the clock strikes three.
Beware Blank, this is your last chance.
Blank: H-Hold on, I don't want any bloody spirits coming into my room and, wait- where are you going?

[ JP's ghost fades and moans 'Farewellll Blank, may we never meet with similar fate in the afterlife...' ]

End of Act I
Scene II

[Mexamerican]

Lol this story is funny do you put another scene every day?

[Sarai]

Yes, Act II Scene I will be posted tommorow 8)

[Sarai]

Act II
Scene I

[ Bong....Bong.... The clock tower outside in the chilly world outside of Blank's house struck midnight. Blank, with his covers wrapped all around him slept fitfully and without worry. The bedroom windows opened the slightest bit and a tiny orb of dazzling white light floated in lazily. Then the whole bedroom door erupted in a storming flash of light, putting light on everything where not even the sun shined. ]
Blank: (Waking up) wuh..hooz fhere? Who..who are you?
Spirit: I'am the Ghost of Christmas Past, but you may also call me Assassinator.
Blank: (Fearfully) Away spirit! I've no quarrel with you, please let me be in my own bed and let me go off into slumber.
Assassinator: Ah Ebenezer Blank, rise from your bed for I have come to show you what Christmas once was.
(Assassinator waves his hand and the bedroom is a whirl of colors with countless seasons going backwards.)
Assassinator: Now I will show you what Christmas first was.
Blank: Oh..oh..too many colors!
( With clarity, the swirling stopped, and the pair were standing beside a road. )
Blank: Whe-Where...me heart be blessed...!
[ All around them were trees, rocks, and the chirping of birds. With snow nestled onto the ground and ice sheeting the streams. For this scene, Ebenezer Blank recognized with full-heart and mind. ]
Blank: This..This is the way to my old school.
Assassinator: Ah..so you remember..
Blank: Remember?! Remember?! I do more than that, I know this whole place like on the back of my hand, oh my, oh my!
( The old miser looks around with joy on his face and he grins more as he sees a coach pulled by horses coming along the road. )
Blank: It's the school coach!
[ The horses clopped past the miser, as he shouted out and recognized each of his childhood friends' names. ]
Blank: My God! There be greb whose head I gave a swirley!
And there's Sketchz! I remember stealing his toilet paper on Thanksgiving! And then there's that chubby little boy I always used to pick on! Oh the joy!
Assassinator: You remember..?
Blank: Yes! Yes! Oh spirit, how wonderful to see them again and talk to them and-
Assassinator: They cannot hear you.
Blank: What?
Assassinator: Ah Blank, this is naught but a memory, a memory from Christmas Past.
Blank: Rubbish on a stick! Of course they can hear me.
Hey Porky! Greb! Sketchz!!
Assassinator: Ebenezer...this is your memory and what you've seen.
Blank: Okay, how the bloody hell would I be seeing all this long time ago if I wasn't even here? I was-
Assassinator: Which is why we must get moving.
[ The scene swirled in colors and shapes once again as the pair traveled through time and space. At last they landed in a deserted classroom with the exception of one lonely school boy. ]
Blank: (Slumping and sitting on a classroom chair) That's..me.
Assassinator: And why are you here alone in the school?
Blank: (With disgust) Because, my father never wanted me, said I was a waste of space and time. Didn't even want me home, even for Christmas.
Assassinator: I see.
[ Once again, the scene forwarded as the lonely school boy was taller by several inches. ]
Blank: This was when I was..thirteen.
[ A little girl runs into the classroom ]
Little Girl: Blank! Blank!
Young Blank: Sophia!
Sophia: Oh Blank, father's agreed!
Young Blank: Agreed to what? Paddling my backside again?
Sophia: Oh no Blank, something more wonderful!
I asked father to let you come back and he did Blank, he did!
He's much better than he was before, gives me lots of hugs than before and-
[ The little girl chatters on and on as she leads the young Blank outside ]
Asssassinator: She was a sweet little girl...
Blank: Yes..yes she was...Sophia was a very young woman when she died.
Assassinator: And how did she die?
Blank: Child birth.
Assassinator: Ah...Balmung
Blank: Yes my nephew. (Clears his throat) Alright, spirit what else have you got to show-
[ The miser is cut off as the scene swirls again, then they land in a shop full of busy workers. Blank is dumbfounded at this sight. ]
Blank: Dear me, dear me...
Assassinator: You know this place?
Blank: (Laughs) Of course! This was where I was apprentinced and - my god...(looks at a man)
That's..that's old Sharpy-wig! My old master!
And-and there's JP and I working away and there's Hannah Swifter with her usual clumsiness!
[ Sharpy-wig slams his ledger shut and begins to announce something: ]

Sharpy: Apprentinces! Fellow workers! It is Christmas day and this is entirely unacceptable! Why are not the musicians and the feasting delights out? (Laughs heartily) Bring out the food women!
Sharpy's Wife: Right away dear! Come on girls, let's set it all up.
[ Music starts playing, with dancing involved, and there are yells of delight and the satisfied consumption of the warm food. ]
Assassinator: Interesting...your old master gave his workers a break on Christmas and a rather good party.
Blank: Ah yes, old Sharpy-wig...he was charming, but alas he also died of child birth.
Assassinator: How exactly..never mind, (Gestures at a young woman with Younger Blank)
And who might that charming lady be?
Blank: Dear me...it's my wife..WolfHowlz.
Assassinator: Mmm, nice curves.
Blank: (Ignoring the Spirit) We..met at the party and we got off well together..and-
[ The scene changes at last with the faint sounds of the music dying out. The spirit and the miser finally settles in a winter-laid scene. A woman and a man is solemly talking with each other on a cold December bench in the park. ]
WolfHowlz: Look, Blank, just stop trying to chase me. You've already got your own love.
Younger Blank: Oh come on Wolf, that hooker was just a joke and besides -
WolfHowlz: There was a hooker?
Younger Blank: Woops, well, uh -
WolfHowlz: I meant your money Ebenezer! Your money's been driving you mad, all greedy for gold and profit.
Look me in the eyes and tell me you can love me more than your money and I will stay. Otherwise I will leave and leave you with a better future rather than having a poor wife bustling after you.
[ Her speech is followed by a long silence. ]

Blank: Say something.
[ The silence between Wolf and younger Blank is stretching ]
Blank: Say something damnit!!!!!
(He yells furiously with spittle flying out of his mouth)
[ The woman begins to leave with a sad expression ]
Blank: (Staring at the younger Blank) No..don't leave her like that, fool, you little greedy fool. (Begins to sob, then at last-)
Spirit..take me home
Assassinator: May I sugge-
Blank: TAKE ME HOME FOR GOD'S SAKES!

Flash.

End of Act II
Scene I

[Sharpshooter124]

yay!! go assassinator!!!! :D

[Sarai]

Assassinator goes away in the next one I think, because the 2nd spirit comes.

[Chickletman]

Oh God, rofl >_>

[Killah]

I'm totaly one of those spirits :O

[MidnightC0bra]

lol chicklet..

and you should put all the acts and stuff on the first post -.-

[EmuBoy]

this is actullay pretty good :D

[Sarai]

lol chicklet..

and you should put all the acts and stuff on the first post -.-

There's a limit to the words, and there are Three Acts in total.

this is actullay pretty good :D

Thank you, I will relay that to the author.

[asaulterguy]

Deck the halls with crap pices of jolly (i dont kno the word) fra la la la la crap crap crap this is all freaking craap fra la la la la crap crap crappy crap thank u thank u very much

[Sarai]

Deck the halls with crap pices of jolly (i dont kno the word) fra la la la la crap crap crap this is all freaking craap fra la la la la crap crap crappy crap thank u thank u very much

Your genius is appreciated.

[Calisniper13]

This story makes me laugh....

[Sarai]

Act II
Scene II

[ The light settled down as the miser and the Spirit of Christmas Past landed in the middle of the bedroom chamber. Standing, shakily, Blank settled down on the side of his bed, his eyes staring off into the abyss of regret. ]
Assassinator: Those..were your Christmas past' memories..so lovely, so beautiful, so trag-
Blank: Curse you...Curse you and all Life's ends! GET OUT OF MY BEDROOM SPIRIT! OUT! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH! OFF WITH YOU AND YOUR CURSED TRAIL OF TEARS AND DAMNING MEMORIES! OUT I SAY!
[ The spirit looking forlornly at the old miser, began to glow...and the glowing glowed every brighter in every second until Blank looked away. ]

FLASH

[ The old miser could still hear the deafening sound ring in his ear drums and slowly fade...then the the clock tower struck one o'clock. ]
Dong....Dong....Bong!

[ Ebenezer Blank, waited...tense and ready..then his floorboards creaked and then shattered into splinters as grass and trees sprung out underneath. With a yell of surprise! Blank stood on his bed and looked all around his bedroom. For it was covered with grass and wildlife, bushes bearing lovely-looking fruit and flourishing blades of glass tickled the end sheets of Ebenezer's bed. ]
Blank: What manner of sorcery and potcrackles is this?!
Loud Voice: It is not sorcery, but mere faith!
[ Blank swiveled around and gaped, for there was a man, dressed in the robe of vines and green, he had a brown beard full of nestled birds and he had a wreath of thorns upon his head.]
Man: Hello Blank. I'am the Ghost of Christmas Present, but you may call me CaliSniper.
Blank: By Thor's gumdrops...what have you done to my FLOOR!?
CaliSniper: That should be the least of your worries at this time, Blank! Come, take hold of my hand.
Blank: Well..alright..fine..(hesitantly takes Cali's hand).
[ As before with the Ghost of Christmas Past, the old miser and the spirit stood in a swirling scene of colors and wonders. Then they stopped to a halt outside of a house. ]
Blank: Where be I? Another trip to my past?
Cali: (Sighs) I'm the Ghost of Christmas Present, you dingledangle. That aside, we are here..at your nephew's house.
Blank: Balmung?! By Devil's Dane! Why are we here?
Cali: To show you how others feel right now.
[ Together they approach the front door and walk right through it. They enter a dining room with Balmung and his wife with his in-laws dining in dinner. ]
Blank: Why...his wife looks fabulous..
Cali: Indeed, but you have never met her have you?
Blank: No..I have not, spirit.
[ Balmung stands up slowly, holding out a goblet of wine ]
Balmung: To Blank!
( Balmung's wife spits out her wine )
BangDEAD: BALMUNG! A toast to that old scrooge?
Balmung: Dear wife...
BangDEAD: I refuse!
BangDEAD's mother: Mmm, I heard that old miser refused to even donate a credit to the poor
BangDEAD's Father: OH HO HO, what a silly goose.
Blank: I will show YOU whose a silly goose, (tries to grab the knife beside BangDEAD, but it passes through his hand)
[ The scene swirled yet again and the duo appeared in front of another house, a house almost in ruins, the door was cracked, the paint was peeling, the windows were covered with plastic, and the doorknob wasn't really a doorknob at all, but a drawing of a doorknob pasted onto the place of the missing doorknob. ]
Blank: By Rainbow Skittles, what manner of creature lives here?
Chickletman: I'm hoooome~!
Blank: Of course. (Rolls his eyes)
[ The duo watches Chickletman enter the house by pretending to turn a non-existant doorknob, in reality he just kicked the door in. Then the miser along with the spirit follows Chickletman in, and the inside of the house is much more distasteful than the outside. The walls were grimy with soot and blackness, the floor was covered with rat tails and all the children and wife were huddled closely at a fireplace with no fire going on. ]
Blank: What a bunch of saps. There's no fire! Why aren't they starting a fire?
CaliSniper: Because someone's BOSS did not give his faithful worker his due credits last year because he was late for work on Christmas day.
Blank: Keep your trap shut, thought you were the Ghost of Christmas present, not past.
Cali: Oh shut up.
Chickletman: Hello Family~!
Chicklet Children: Daddy! Daddy! (They gather around him)
Tiny voice: Father!
Chickletman: (Turns around and grins) Why Fuze! Tiny Fuze!
Up and about!
Tiny Fuze: Yes father, better already!
[ Tiny Fuze holds an oversized crutch, far larger than his own pigeon-chested torso. ]
Blank: (Staring) Who is that, spirit?
Cali: (Quietly) That. Is Tiny Fuze. He was born like this, a handicapped cripple, forced to use crutches at the age of four, exceptionally bright boy...but, the poor family cannot pay for the medicine, in few weeks time, he will die.
Blank: Wait, wait, why must this poor lad die?
Cali: Because he cannot afford the medicine to help him live into adulthood and become a healthy man, but then again,
when he dies he will decrease the surplus population, no?
Blank: (Stiffening) I-I, that's diff-
Cali: Come, I do not have much time left.

[Together they go outside, and something about the Ghost starts to change. ]
Blank: Y-Your beard! It's turning grey, your hair!
Your-your getting
Cali: Older...turning to dust..it seems I do not have much more time, Ebenezer. But before I go, I will show you the last of my wisdom.
[ He casts out his arms, and underneath his robe of vines, two horrid looking things snuck out. One emanciated girl, so skinny, her ribs were showing and her legs were thin.
The other, with hair covering his body, and snickering, casting side way glances at the Chicklet family through the open door. ]
Blank: Dear God's Nipples! What are these things?!
Cali: (Turning older) The girl is Misery, Blank, beware of her.
But the other...beware of him most, do not turn your children's backs to him..for he will have his award then..
Blank: W-What be it?
Cali: This..is Pedo-Bear. The worst scourge of mankind to exist, beware of this one most, Ebenezer Blank.

[Then the pedo-bear leaped at Blank and Blank lost consciousness. ]

End of Act II
Scene II

[Calisniper13]

I had pedobear in my robe? :O!!

[Sarai]

I had pedobear in my robe? :O!!

It seems it would love the Chicklet children.

[Killah]

I'm for sure in the next one D:

[AbcSniper]

We is reading this book in my language arts class. It has some big words... Nice job though

[Sarai]

We is reading this book in my language arts class. It has some big words... Nice job though

Thank you I will relay your comment to the author.
And it's quite a very good story/play by Charles Dickens.