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slipknotfr33k11
12-25-2008, 08:28 PM
I did a remake of the Three Little Pigs, here it is:
The Three Little Pigs

Chapter 1


Once upon a time there were three little pigs; their names were Akio, Reese, and Ming. One day their mother told them to be very careful and not go outside because a convicted child abductor wolf had recently broken out of jail.
“But mother! All my friends get to play outside!” Complained Reese.
“No they do not,” Their mother replied “Their mothers also instructed them to stay inside during this dangerous point in time.”
“Don’t worry mommy! I’ll stay inside and be extra careful!” Ming exclaimed.
“Very good Ming, what about you Akio?”
Akio just sighed and muttered “Whatever.”
“Alright children, I’m off to the grocery store, I’ll be back in a few! Whatever you do, do not answer the door!”
Kathy, the mother, locked the door on the way out and made her way to the car. As soon as the sound of his mother’s car rolling down the street stopped, Akio spoke.
“I’m going outside.” He declared.
“No Akio! Mother said you have to stay inside! You don’t want to get taken away by the big bad wolf do you?” Ming cried.
“Ming’s right.” Reese confirmed “Mother knows what’s best.”
“Shut up fatty!” Akio replied “You guys might be scared of the big bad wolf but I’m not.”
Akio stormed out the front door and left the other two shocked.
“I’m not fat am I?” Reese asked Ming.
“You’re just the way God made you!” Ming cheered as she ran up to her room.

Chapter 2

The house was quiet. Reese was playing Runescape and eating Cheetos while Ming was busy playing Webkinz. Everything was peaceful… for a moment. Suddenly, the doorbell rang.
“Go away noob! You’re going to make the monster kill me!” Reese exclaimed with a mouthful of cheetos.
The doorbell continued to ring.
“This better be pretty damn important because you just made me lose full bronze!” Reese screamed as he approached the door.
“It’s me, your mother!” A voice from behind the door explained “I have lost the key and cannot get in!”
Reese looked through the peep hole and saw the disgusting, scarred face of the wolf.
“You’re not my mother, you’re that no good…”
That’s all Reese had time to say before the wolf thrust his claws through the door and impaled Reese upon them. Ming saw this and ran directly for the phone to call 911, but she couldn’t get there before the wolf broke down the door. Ming abandoned her hope for reaching the phone on time and ran to the balcony, where she could make her escape. The wolf began to make his way up the stairs, dragging his claws against the wall next to him.
“Darling, don’t run, I’ve got a special surprise for you.” The wolf whispered in a voice that could only be described as devilish.
Ming jumped off the balcony into the rose bush below; she highly underestimated the damage the thorns would do to her. They practically tore her apart, they took off most of her skin and punctured her eyes. Blinded, she ran in any direction she could but she was hit by a car. The car kept travelling after she was hit, causing her organs to cover the asphalt, and this was not just any car, this was her mother’s car.
Chapter 3

Two months later Kathy finds herself lying on the couch, drunk and soaked in her own tears. She still remembered vividly the day two of her children died, and one went missing. She remembered every last detail of her daughter’s entrails spread across the road, she tried to forget, she wished she could forget. Abruptly there was a knock on the door.
“Go away!” She yelled and continued to wallow in her self pity.
“This is important; it’s about your missing son!” An officer exclaimed from the other side of the door.
Kathy had a hard time getting up from the couch, partly because she hadn’t gotten up for six hours, but mostly because she was extremely drunk. After she managed to pull herself up, she made her way to the door and opened it.
“What ish it ofisher?” muttered Kathy.
“We think we have found your son… we need you to identify the body.” The officer said solemnly.
Kathy began to cry.
“I’m very sorry miss, but if you just help us it could really help our investigation and…”
“Your investigation?!” Kathy interrupted “You haven’t found enough <cencored> to catch this <cencored>?!”
“Kathy, we’re doing all we can…”
“<cencored>! He left his hair in the door and his claw marks in my wall, there is NO REASON you shouldn’t already have this <cencored> in jail!”
The officer stood there speechless.
“Good day sir!” She exclaimed as she slammed the door.
After this, she walked back to the couch to grieve for another few hours or so.

Chapter 4

Kathy awoke in a dark room.
“Where am I? How did I get here?” She thought. “Hello?!” She yelled… no answer.
She saw a dark figure approach her, as it got closer it became clearer what it was. After a few seconds of studying it, she came to a conclusion on what it was, it was the wolf. A gun fell from above her onto the floor, some kind of handgun, a very large one. She grabbed it immediately and shot the wolf in the left knee, then the right. She stood over the wolf and felt pleasure as it begged for its life.
“I’ll see you in Hell.” She said as she pulled the trigger and blew the wolf’s head into pieces.
She felt as if she was complete, like her life dream had been fulfilled, and then she woke up. It was all a dream, she felt disappointed, but at least now she knew what she had to do.

Chapter 5

Kathy grabbed her trench coat and left out the front door. She walked to the Town Square and searched for some kind of weapons shop. After a while she found a hunting store, the only things there were shotguns, bolt action rifles, and big *** hunting knives. She bought a Savage Model 110 rifle, Natchez Bowie hunting knife, and of course, some ammunition. After she departed the store she went to her old house, the one where it all happened. She was disgusted that no one had done anything to clean up, but then again that’s a good thing, more evidence. She picked up a shard of wood and searched it for hair… nothing. Then she searched another and another until she found one with a small lock of hair in it, perfect. After putting the lock of hair in her pocket she made her way to the staircase. She examined the claw marks in the wall. She took a piece of paper and a crayon and put the paper on the marks and colored lightly over it, so she could keep it and know the exact size and shape of the claws. After this, she left the house and promised herself she would never return.
The next day she hit the streets and starting asking about the wolf, not seemingly innocent people though, people like drug dealers hanging out in the alleys. She didn’t get much other than he likes to go to specific bar, “The Parlor”. So Kathy decided to have a stakeout there, until she sees him show up. Hours pass but at about 9:00PM a wolf shows up, she’s not sure if it’s THE wolf but it’s definitely A wolf. She walks next to him very subtly and pulls the lock of hair out of her pocket and compares it, perfect match. She pulls out her knife and lunges at him, but he dodges and claws her right arm. Everything goes silent for a moment, Kathy lunges again and manages to stab him in the forearm, people realize what’s going on and the chaos begins. People start rushing out of the bar through all exits. The wolf claws at Kathy again but misses, Kathy kicks him in the stomach and he falls over. Noticing the bar is nearly empty she pulls out the rifle and holds it to his head.
“You shouldn’t have <cencored> with my family” Kathy told him.
The wolf began to cry.
Kathy pulled the trigger and blew his head off. She had the same feeling of satisfaction as in the dream, just this time, it will last. She pulled the knife out of his arm and dropped the crayon marking of his claws on him. Then Kathy ran out of the bar, and just ran and ran until she was far away, where no one knew about this, and all of this could just be forgotten.

The End



You like?

guitarguy
12-25-2008, 08:33 PM
Great ending to chapter two :D

Sarai
12-25-2008, 08:37 PM
Possibly one of the best short stories I've seen.
Albeit a bit gory O.o

Dax
12-25-2008, 09:03 PM
WOW, that is intense... Moral of the story don't listen to your mother?

slipknotfr33k11
12-25-2008, 09:05 PM
*update*
Chapter 3 is up.
Thanks everyone for the comments.
:D

guitarguy
12-25-2008, 09:11 PM
I liked it better without Chapter 3.

slipknotfr33k11
12-25-2008, 09:50 PM
*update*
Chapter 4 is out.

Dylan
12-25-2008, 10:08 PM
Where does the storyline sound familiar?
Jumping into a rosebush, running into the road and getting nailed by a relatives car?


I don't know why that sounds so familiar, but it's a really good short story man.

slipknotfr33k11
12-25-2008, 10:12 PM
Where does the storyline sound familiar?
Jumping into a rosebush, running into the road and getting nailed by a relatives car?


I don't know why that sounds so familiar, but it's a really good short story man.

It sounds familiar to you? I did the same story in my eighth grade class last year but unless you were there I don't know why it would sound familiar. I'm just redoing it now because last year I kinda had to rush it to turn it in.

Update: It's finished.

peterrabbit11
12-26-2008, 06:49 PM
that was the best story i ever heard

Infinint
12-26-2008, 08:45 PM
Blood and guts, I should record a dramatic reading for you all.

FusiouS
12-26-2008, 08:55 PM
Nice story :b
I like it
Best little short story :D

How many chapters you gonna add?

And the moral of your story is don't listen to your mommy?

slipknotfr33k11
12-26-2008, 11:47 PM
Nice story :b
I like it
Best little short story :D

How many chapters you gonna add?

And the moral of your story is don't listen to your mommy?

It's finished now.
And no because the other kid died too.

FusiouS
12-26-2008, 11:50 PM
It's finished now.
And no because the other kid died too.


awwww :(
Hey you gonna make anymore forum stories? :D

Dax
12-27-2008, 01:59 AM
That's awesome man. I like the ending. ;)

slipknotfr33k11
12-27-2008, 04:40 AM
awwww :(
Hey you gonna make anymore forum stories? :D

I don't know, I haven't planned on it but if people really like it I guess I could write a few more.

That's awesome man. I like the ending. ;)

Thanks dude, I really appreciate it.

Irrixiatdowne
12-27-2008, 05:09 AM
I like it, even if it was a bit too detailed about the...uh, car and...guuhts...*spinning slightly*
But still; innocence! Drama! Tragedy! Heartbreak! Action! Revenge! It's a good retelling of a classic tale.
I think I'm going to affix some sheet titanium to my doorways now, though...

FusiouS
12-27-2008, 05:44 AM
I don't know, I haven't planned on it but if people really like it I guess I could write a few more.



Thanks dude, I really appreciate it.
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it's really cool.

You should write one about hmmm
lets come up with some ideas.

A pawn story?
a new years story
christmas story

any of those would be fun to write about :D

slipknotfr33k11
12-27-2008, 07:02 AM
it's really cool.

You should write one about hmmm
lets come up with some ideas.

A pawn story?
a new years story
christmas story

any of those would be fun to write about :D

Maybe later, not right now though, I'm tired right now so it would probably suck. :p

RBot
12-27-2008, 07:21 AM
Dude... why so violent? Chapter 2 was so messed up...

slipknotfr33k11
12-27-2008, 07:35 AM
Dude... why so violent? Chapter 2 was so messed up...

Eh, it wasn't that bad.

FusiouS
12-27-2008, 07:35 AM
Dude... why so violent? Chapter 2 was so messed up...

DUDE IT'S THE THREE LITTLE PIGS!!
It is supposed to be violent, have you ever read The Three little pigs?

slipknotfr33k11
12-27-2008, 07:40 AM
DUDE IT'S THE THREE LITTLE PIGS!!
It is supposed to be violent, have you ever read The Three little pigs?

I know! This one didn't even have the graphic huffing and puffing and blowing the house down scene.

FusiouS
12-27-2008, 07:45 AM
I know! This one didn't even have the graphic huffing and puffing and blowing the house down scene.

lmao you should add it :D
It would be great you are missing the best part D:

slipknotfr33k11
12-27-2008, 07:48 AM
lmao you should add it :D
It would be great you are missing the best part D:

No, it's far too graphic for the children that visit this site.

FusiouS
12-27-2008, 07:50 AM
No, it's far too graphic for the children that visit this site.

Nah
ADD IT!!!
it won't be the same without it D:

I love this story I wish there is some way we can save it.
Take a screenie and put it in your albums :D

Make a pawn story tomorrow.

Irrixiatdowne
12-27-2008, 05:12 PM
it's really cool.

You should write one about hmmm
lets come up with some ideas.

A pawn story?
a new years story
christmas story

any of those would be fun to write about :D

Why not just a story about Pawn between christmas and new year? Three-in-one!

Da2Shae
12-27-2008, 05:20 PM
The movie "Kill Bill" pops to mind...

slipknotfr33k11
12-27-2008, 07:04 PM
The movie "Kill Bill" pops to mind...

Rofl, that's my favorite movie.

FusiouS
12-27-2008, 07:09 PM
Why not just a story about Pawn between christmas and new year? Three-in-one!

hmm that would be cool :D
*thinks of a timeline* O_O
Nothing comes to mind. That's going to be a hard story to make.

We should start
Pawn Stories, and everytime we write a story we keep editing it

so like this

slipknotfr33k11
12-29-2008, 12:14 AM
hmm that would be cool :D
*thinks of a timeline* O_O
Nothing comes to mind. That's going to be a hard story to make.

We should start
Pawn Stories, and everytime we write a story we keep editing it

so like this

I... don't really know what you're getting at.