22 WAYS TO BE A GOOD DEMOCRAT - Funny

[greb]

Subject: 22 WAYS TO BE A GOOD DEMOCRAT



When I first got this e-mail, I thought it was funny, after I got about half way through, I decided it was more disturbing than funny. When put into context, I think these items are just more evidence of the need to pray for our Country, our leaders, and the upcoming elections.



22 WAYS TO BE A GOOD DEMOCRAT

IT'S NOT SO HARD, EVEN A CAVEMAN CAN DO IT....

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression, and governments create prosperity.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens are more of a threat than nuclear weapons technology, in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art, before federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are more affected by soccer moms driving SUVs, than by scientifically documented cyclical changes in the earth's climate.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being homosexual is natural.

7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach fourth graders how to read, is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco, do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money, to make 'The Passion of the Christ' for financial gain only.

12. You have to believe that the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and Alexander Graham Bell.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal, and is a very nice person.

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in charge.

18. You have to believe that conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belonged in the White House.

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese Government, is somehow in the best interest of the United States .

21. You have to believe that it's okay to give federal workers the day off on Christmas Day, but it's not okay to say 'Merry Christmas.'

22. You have to believe that this message is part of a vast right wing conspiracy.

Ready to vote?

[shooter65]

I lol'd at alot of it.

[niceguyeddie]

one sure fire way to be a good demicrat-

dont keep your mouth shut when a republican argues with you. get some dirt in them there freshly polished fingernails!

XD WORKS FOR ME EVERY TIME.

[Eiliosdraye]

Partially true, partially offensive, partially disturbing.


Weird, funny stuff.

[arabftw123]

Omg. xD!!!

That made me laugh so hard.

But, it's all true. o_o

[guitarguy]

I didn't laugh, but it was an interesting read.

[IrishDragon1234]

About the farthest thing from the truth I've ever read in my life. But still gave me a good laugh:D

[VietnamNut]

Ha that was very funny, but I think someone should make a republican one to (btw Im a republican so dont flame)

[quickkillerz]

I got to 11 and stopped. It was all so true to me.

Nice thread.

[joeytho]

hmm, not really logical, and kind of out of context but i guess its kind of funny that someone made this list. just for fun, I've decided to respond to each one...

22 WAYS TO BE A GOOD DEMOCRAT

IT'S NOT SO HARD, EVEN A CAVEMAN CAN DO IT....

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

abortion is a dangerous medical procedure, the decision to go along with it is not made lightly (or "on demand"). It is necessary, especially with the overpopulation problems and poverty problems we face today. Capital punishment is an irreversible sentence, if someone is executed, then later found innocent there is no reversing it... just send mass murderers and rapists to do hard labor somewhere.

2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression, and governments create prosperity.

Business do create oppression, when they expand to third world nations for cheap labor they destroy small communities there (i have seen this first hand in Mexico) and they kill small businesses in America because they are able to have the lowest prices because they have the cheapest labor. this creates more unemployment, which means more people have no option but to seek the low prices. that is oppression. governments don't create prosperity, they can however stimulate economic growth with certain laws and restrictions.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens are more of a threat than nuclear weapons technology, in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.

no one thinks guns are dangerous in the hands of law-abiding citizens, that is insane. the worry is the guns in the hands of citizens that don't follow the law... and there is very little thread from nuclear technology in China and North Korea, TV stations just get better ratings from saying "North Korea will launch a barrage of missiles tomorrow so everyone be afraid" then "North Korea successfully separated U236, which is a big step for their energy program"...

4. You have to believe that there was no art, before federal funding.

you have to believe federal funding benefits art. No one is dumb enough to think no federal funding = no art.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are more affected by soccer moms driving SUVs, than by scientifically documented cyclical changes in the earth's climate.

You have to understand the facts of global warming. The earth goes through natural cycles, true. there have been previous ice ages, everyone knows this. however things aren't so simple, there are a lots of facts that must be considered. for example, CO2 levels that have been measured from core samples taken from Antarctica mimic the temperature of the planet very closely. we have many times the amount of CO2 in the atmosphere now than any time in the last 250,000 years...

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being homosexual is natural.

Homosexuality is not a gender role, it exists in both genders and it is just a different way of thinking. the argument made by democrats is not that homosexuality is natural anyway, its that homosexuals should have the same rights as You and I.

7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

No, you have to believe that AIDS is a problem, and federal funding is needed to find a cure.

8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach fourth graders how to read, is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

You need to believe that only teachers who are qualified to teach fourth graders should be teaching them how to read along with teaching them about sex.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco, do.

this is not the opinion of most democrats, its just the opinion of some loony activists. trust me, i live in San Francisco and i get very annoyed when some f***er from green peace makes me miss my bus to tell me crap i already know. most of these crazy people who think they know everything are idiots, I'll level with you there, but that is not the opinion of most democrats.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

Not sure where this one is coming from...

11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money, to make 'The Passion of the Christ' for financial gain only.

Mel Gibson is an artist, weather you like him or not. no movie producer makes a movie just for the money, and no one is saying they do.

12. You have to believe that the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

You have to believe that the bill of rights was drafted during a time when America depended on its militia as its defense force, and now the second amendment is obsolete. (personally, i think people should be able to have rifles, that are too big to conceal, and there should be heavy restrictions to make sure they don't end up in the wrong hands.)

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

You have to believe that the trickle down theory is a bunch of BS and those making more than a quarter million dollars a year should not be exempt from taxes. they can obviously afford to pay taxes, why not make them pay just like everyone else? especially with this out of control government spending over the last 8 years, the government needs the increased tax revenue to pay off our massive debts.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and Alexander Graham Bell.

no, you don't. very few people believe this, if any, and they are idiots...

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

Racial quotas are a problem, and they are not needed in most places anymore. they were set in place after the civil rights movement because it was impossible for minorities to get jobs due to prejudices. now that employers are just seeking the most qualified employees (in many places, some employers have racial quotas in California where state mandated quotas have been removed for P.R. reasons). Racial quotas only need to be applied in places with strong prejudices, i agree that this system needs to end. as for standardized tests, not many people think these are racist.

16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal, and is a very nice person.

no.

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in charge.

socialism has worked very well in France and England... the health care in France is second best in the world. you can walk into a clinic in england and get competent medical attention in as little as 15 minutes free of charge (also from personal experience, but since we were not citizens, it cost 8 dollars for my friend to get the attention he needed after breaking his finger.)

18. You have to believe that conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belonged in the White House.

You have to understand that going to war by lying and scaring the nation into agreeing with you, causing thousands of people to loose their lives for your own personal agenda is more serious than having an affair then lying about it.

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

You have to believe that both are legal and protected by the first amendment. the location of the events are up to the people of the communities.

20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese Government, is somehow in the best interest of the United States .

Who believes this? there is corruption in both parties, but the core beliefs of each party is that there should be no corruption. (it doesn't matter if you are a democrat or a republican, if you are a politician, you lie and you are going to be corrupt in some way shape or form.)

21. You have to believe that it's okay to give federal workers the day off on Christmas Day, but it's not okay to say 'Merry Christmas.'

anyone can say merry Christmas, but you don't have to believe in the religion to celebrate the holiday. the holiday season is a time for people to come together, no matter their beliefs, for the end of the year. many people who don't believe in Christ still celebrate the holiday, and they just say 'Happy Holidays' because they want to make that distinction.

22. You have to believe that this message is part of a vast right wing conspiracy.

it totally is lol :P.

so yeah, I'm a democrat, living in San Francisco.

[luka102]

one way to be a good republican: run a ranch, get elected for president, declare war on an arabian country for their oil, and then f*ck up the US in every way possible.
then get another ******* with the same beliefs get re elected from that party. then repeat for the next eight years.

[IrishDragon1234]

Wait, are you saying you actually think these facts are true? Or did you just make them up?

[Bilehd92]

No lie

That is pretty true xD

[KyubiNaruto]

I completely disagree with all of the ideas on that page to be democratic at all, i am very advanced in my politics with school but the problem is is that people take society way too seriously, and with recent drop in the US economy, we totaly fail.

BTW HUGE SIDE NOTE, Hilary Clinton DID NOT DO SQUAT FOR NEW YORK STATE, she just sat there and took all of our tax payer money and put it into charter schools which is the worst thing for tax payers which means WE have to may for our school taxes, AND the charter school leeches off of our school, which either means we pay more taxes, or our school gets less things out of the budget, hilary clinton is a failure