guitarguy
09-30-2008, 12:31 PM
Because most stories on here are Pawn related(not saying its bad, though).
This is a short story based off a conversation I had while texting someone from my computer(I have no cell phone)
Jeff, a young man of about 15 years old was walking down the street, going to his friend's house for band practice. He had long, dirty blonde hair, tight jeans and an Iron Maiden T-Shirt on. Mumbling along to the song "Just a Little Sign," by Helloween as he cranked his MP3 Player up, someone snatched him up in a bag and hit him in the head with a metal sculpture of a lightbulb.
Jeff awoke in a dark room. The dim lights flickered on, but they were too dim to see. He heard a voice ask, "What's the password?" Jeff, as confused as an donkey in a horse race, responded with, "What?" He saw a table flip over and a voice yell out, "Don't play dumb with me, give me the password, Lillian!" Jeff didn't understand what was going on. He yelled out "Who are you?" The evil kidnapper turned on a bright light. Jeff squinted his eyes, and allowed them to adjust to the light before looking at his abducter.
Jeff's eye's adjusted and saw that it was a talking lava lamp, with a cape! Jeff took out his cellular phonular device and texted his friend Lillian, "Help me! I'm being held hostage by an evil lava lamp!" He sweated as he waited with the lava lamp staring him down. BZZZ. His phone vibrated and he check his messages. "I don't know the password!" He texted back "He says he's going to kill me! I think he's serious, he's got a cape!"
"Woah! Did you say a cape?! And a moustache, too?"
"Yeah! A pink eye patch too! What's the password? His boyfriend just walked in the door and they said they're going to torture me if I don't give them the password?!"
"Omg! Is his boyfriend a disco ball dressed up as a turkey in a miniskirt?!"
"Yeah, help me! They're making me play scrabble, but the took out all the vowels and they're making up words! Its torture!"
Moments passed and he got no response. He was very close to using "tggkl" and claiming it was a word. He texted Lillian again, "Please give me the password!"
"Sorry, I was distracted by this emo band playing music."
"But emo music sucks! Emos are *** Wait, *** communities are often closed off and very close communities! Ask them for the password!"
"Pajamas!"
Jeff turned to the *** lava lamp with a cape and moustache and yells out "The password is pajamas, let me go!" The lava lamp pimp slapped Jeff and said, "Damnit Lillian! You remembered the password to change games!" The lava lamp left the room to get another game. The disco ball dressed as a turkey in a miniskirt turned to Jeff, and while applying his make-up, said "You're not Lillian are you?" Jeff responded by stating "Hell no! I'm Jeff! Why does he think I'm Lillian and why does he want to kill me?!" The disco ball spilled out the whole story, "Lillian was his 1st grade bully. She took his lunch money, pants'd him, gave him wedgies, and told everyone he wore girly underwear. She picked on him because he was on the only 12 year old cross dresser in the class. He think's you're Lillian after she got a sex change." Jeff yelled at the disco ball, "Well then why don't you set him straight and get me the hell out of here?!" The disco ball calmly responded, "Because I have a fetish for torturing people with rigged board games."
And so Jeff was stuck there for all eternity, playing board games rigged in the lava lamp's favor. They forced him to play Connect Four, but Jeff only got three pieces, they made him play Ping Pong, but his paddle was a net, and worst of all, they made him play operation with a fork as his tool to remove the items.
This is a short story based off a conversation I had while texting someone from my computer(I have no cell phone)
Jeff, a young man of about 15 years old was walking down the street, going to his friend's house for band practice. He had long, dirty blonde hair, tight jeans and an Iron Maiden T-Shirt on. Mumbling along to the song "Just a Little Sign," by Helloween as he cranked his MP3 Player up, someone snatched him up in a bag and hit him in the head with a metal sculpture of a lightbulb.
Jeff awoke in a dark room. The dim lights flickered on, but they were too dim to see. He heard a voice ask, "What's the password?" Jeff, as confused as an donkey in a horse race, responded with, "What?" He saw a table flip over and a voice yell out, "Don't play dumb with me, give me the password, Lillian!" Jeff didn't understand what was going on. He yelled out "Who are you?" The evil kidnapper turned on a bright light. Jeff squinted his eyes, and allowed them to adjust to the light before looking at his abducter.
Jeff's eye's adjusted and saw that it was a talking lava lamp, with a cape! Jeff took out his cellular phonular device and texted his friend Lillian, "Help me! I'm being held hostage by an evil lava lamp!" He sweated as he waited with the lava lamp staring him down. BZZZ. His phone vibrated and he check his messages. "I don't know the password!" He texted back "He says he's going to kill me! I think he's serious, he's got a cape!"
"Woah! Did you say a cape?! And a moustache, too?"
"Yeah! A pink eye patch too! What's the password? His boyfriend just walked in the door and they said they're going to torture me if I don't give them the password?!"
"Omg! Is his boyfriend a disco ball dressed up as a turkey in a miniskirt?!"
"Yeah, help me! They're making me play scrabble, but the took out all the vowels and they're making up words! Its torture!"
Moments passed and he got no response. He was very close to using "tggkl" and claiming it was a word. He texted Lillian again, "Please give me the password!"
"Sorry, I was distracted by this emo band playing music."
"But emo music sucks! Emos are *** Wait, *** communities are often closed off and very close communities! Ask them for the password!"
"Pajamas!"
Jeff turned to the *** lava lamp with a cape and moustache and yells out "The password is pajamas, let me go!" The lava lamp pimp slapped Jeff and said, "Damnit Lillian! You remembered the password to change games!" The lava lamp left the room to get another game. The disco ball dressed as a turkey in a miniskirt turned to Jeff, and while applying his make-up, said "You're not Lillian are you?" Jeff responded by stating "Hell no! I'm Jeff! Why does he think I'm Lillian and why does he want to kill me?!" The disco ball spilled out the whole story, "Lillian was his 1st grade bully. She took his lunch money, pants'd him, gave him wedgies, and told everyone he wore girly underwear. She picked on him because he was on the only 12 year old cross dresser in the class. He think's you're Lillian after she got a sex change." Jeff yelled at the disco ball, "Well then why don't you set him straight and get me the hell out of here?!" The disco ball calmly responded, "Because I have a fetish for torturing people with rigged board games."
And so Jeff was stuck there for all eternity, playing board games rigged in the lava lamp's favor. They forced him to play Connect Four, but Jeff only got three pieces, they made him play Ping Pong, but his paddle was a net, and worst of all, they made him play operation with a fork as his tool to remove the items.