Dylan
05-26-2009, 11:55 PM
hey there kids. Sit right down and i'll tell you a story about a boy and his bump. (no, this isn't perverted, sorry pokemans.)
there once was a little boy named billy. Billy liked to browse the ---- forums and posted like a good little noob should, and people were delighted with billy's antics and wit on the forums.
But one day billy decided to make a thread of his own, and he thought that it was the most ---- awesomest thing ever. He spent all his time thinking about the replies he would get of people praising his intelligence and eloquence. Billy fell asleep dreaming of one day getting moderator status because of his ---- awesome threads.
But the next day when he came back, there were no replies! Little billy was oh so sad. At that moment, billy... Ahem, bumped... Into mr. Bump.
Mr. Bump waved at billy and said, "hey billy! I'm mr. Bump, but you can call me bump!" billy smiled and bump continued. "i notice you have no replies... How would you like people to notice your thread because it's at the top of the index?"
"oh boy oh boy! Is that possible!?" billy asked with a grin.
"indeed! All you need to do is type 'bump' in your threads, and i'll move it all the way to the top!" exclaimed bump.
So billy proceeded to go to his thread and post a new reply. "bump," posted billy. He then turned on his bot (running deviant woodcutter) and took a nap on his bed.
Five hours later, billy came back to check on his thread. No one had posted yet! "gosh golly, i need to get mr. Bump to make my thread noticed again," proclaimed billy. "bumpity bump bumpers," posted billy, chuckling at his own wit. Again, mr. Bump bumped billy's thread up to the top of the thread index.
It was just at that time that major, a staff member, was lurking about on the forums, moderating like the awesome dude he was. "oh-ho-ho-ho, what have we here?" said major to himself, clicking billy's thread - which was truthfully titled why major is so awesome.
Major read through the post and acknowledged his godliness. But then major saw something which utterly disgusted him: Billy had been teaming up with mr. Bump! Normally, major would have tolerated this, but this had happened so many times before that he couldn't contain his rage.
"ffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuu-" yelled major, bringing his mouse pointer over the infract button. Major shouted random memes as he proceeded to infract billy for bumping, and lowered billy's post count by physically deleting his posts.
But, oh no, major wasn't going to stop there! Major proceeded to track down billy using his ip address and his sekrit hax™.
Billy, unaware of major's current state of mind, saw that his bumps had been deleted and his thread was on the next page. He started to cry as he realized no one would ever read his thread. But he had an idea! He was going to get major demoted as revenge (or so he thought). Billy laughed maniacally as he posted in the moderator disputes forum.
"like omg that major guy iz so unfair he deleted my bumps and infracted me for no good reason u guyz shud demote him cus he should be called majorfag lolololol," typed billy. But unbeknownst to billy, major had entered his house and had already slaughtered his parents, his sister and his pets.
Just as billy was about to click the post reply button, major came up behind billy and yelled "bump!", smashing billy's face into his old crt monitor. The picture tube exploded as glass shards were sent flying in every direction, many of the shards embedding themselves in billy's face. Major tied billy's arms and legs up and laid him on the floor. Major then squatted over billy.
"oh god no!" screamed billy as major proceeded to defecate on billy's now cut up face. Major then gassed down the house and burned up all the evidence with billy still alive, squirming to get free, but to no avail. Billy's flesh bubbled as major roasted marshmallows over his burning corpse.
The moral of the story is:
don't bump your threads or i'll come and kill you and your family (or maybe just infract you, depending on my mood).
thanks and have a nice day. . .
there once was a little boy named billy. Billy liked to browse the ---- forums and posted like a good little noob should, and people were delighted with billy's antics and wit on the forums.
But one day billy decided to make a thread of his own, and he thought that it was the most ---- awesomest thing ever. He spent all his time thinking about the replies he would get of people praising his intelligence and eloquence. Billy fell asleep dreaming of one day getting moderator status because of his ---- awesome threads.
But the next day when he came back, there were no replies! Little billy was oh so sad. At that moment, billy... Ahem, bumped... Into mr. Bump.
Mr. Bump waved at billy and said, "hey billy! I'm mr. Bump, but you can call me bump!" billy smiled and bump continued. "i notice you have no replies... How would you like people to notice your thread because it's at the top of the index?"
"oh boy oh boy! Is that possible!?" billy asked with a grin.
"indeed! All you need to do is type 'bump' in your threads, and i'll move it all the way to the top!" exclaimed bump.
So billy proceeded to go to his thread and post a new reply. "bump," posted billy. He then turned on his bot (running deviant woodcutter) and took a nap on his bed.
Five hours later, billy came back to check on his thread. No one had posted yet! "gosh golly, i need to get mr. Bump to make my thread noticed again," proclaimed billy. "bumpity bump bumpers," posted billy, chuckling at his own wit. Again, mr. Bump bumped billy's thread up to the top of the thread index.
It was just at that time that major, a staff member, was lurking about on the forums, moderating like the awesome dude he was. "oh-ho-ho-ho, what have we here?" said major to himself, clicking billy's thread - which was truthfully titled why major is so awesome.
Major read through the post and acknowledged his godliness. But then major saw something which utterly disgusted him: Billy had been teaming up with mr. Bump! Normally, major would have tolerated this, but this had happened so many times before that he couldn't contain his rage.
"ffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuu-" yelled major, bringing his mouse pointer over the infract button. Major shouted random memes as he proceeded to infract billy for bumping, and lowered billy's post count by physically deleting his posts.
But, oh no, major wasn't going to stop there! Major proceeded to track down billy using his ip address and his sekrit hax™.
Billy, unaware of major's current state of mind, saw that his bumps had been deleted and his thread was on the next page. He started to cry as he realized no one would ever read his thread. But he had an idea! He was going to get major demoted as revenge (or so he thought). Billy laughed maniacally as he posted in the moderator disputes forum.
"like omg that major guy iz so unfair he deleted my bumps and infracted me for no good reason u guyz shud demote him cus he should be called majorfag lolololol," typed billy. But unbeknownst to billy, major had entered his house and had already slaughtered his parents, his sister and his pets.
Just as billy was about to click the post reply button, major came up behind billy and yelled "bump!", smashing billy's face into his old crt monitor. The picture tube exploded as glass shards were sent flying in every direction, many of the shards embedding themselves in billy's face. Major tied billy's arms and legs up and laid him on the floor. Major then squatted over billy.
"oh god no!" screamed billy as major proceeded to defecate on billy's now cut up face. Major then gassed down the house and burned up all the evidence with billy still alive, squirming to get free, but to no avail. Billy's flesh bubbled as major roasted marshmallows over his burning corpse.
The moral of the story is:
don't bump your threads or i'll come and kill you and your family (or maybe just infract you, depending on my mood).
thanks and have a nice day. . .